The Situation
Ellis Schwartz was too angry for being only 14. Or so his mother thought. His mother, who never wanted to be a mother, was exhausted by her son’s needs. Ellis could rarely sleep through the night. Ellis’ mother preferred to spend her time doing pilates and micro-dosing benzos and Ellis was well aware he was second choice. She didn't sign up to parent an anxious child. She tried filling his days with tutors, coding camps and psychiatrists. Nothing worked to quell her son. She sent him to sleepaway summer camp because that was supposed to be good for development.
The Depression
Ellis couldn’t handle summer camp. After the first meal, which was tomato soup and grilled cheese, he felt a thick wave of defeat inch up his entire body and grab him by the throat. Also an undercurrent of simmering diarrhea. In a horrifying bathroom realization, Ellis understood for the first time that he would never get another chance to be fourteen. He was jarred enough by the realization to spiral, but didn’t feel motivated to take advantage of camp.
The Undertaking
Ellis Schwartz knew he was the shortest boy and he suspected he was the angriest boy in cabin 14. He was so angry and short that he couldn’t tell the difference between flirting and criticism. Jewish girls were scary like that. Ellis didn’t get that Rachel C from cabin 12 was hopelessly in love with him. Of course he thought Rachel C was great, she had thick long curls and the biggest tits out of all the eighth graders. But Ellis wasn’t interested in girls his age. He was much too preoccupied with being under-slept.
His only respite was the nurses office. He could sleep there, where it was cold and clinical. After refusing to leave the nurse’s office, he was sent home. Out of desperation, his mother put Ellis on a plane to spend three weeks with his Great Aunt Bunny in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Albuquerque
Albuquerque soothed Ellis. The desert air was crisp, not thick like East Coast air. The horizon seemed much too far away to be real. The people actually wore cowboy hats and cowboy boots and large belt buckles with glorious turquoise. This was the land of enchantment.
The Gazpacho
Great Aunt Bunny loved gazpacho. She maintained three rotating gazpachos in her fridge at all times. She served gazpacho every day for lunch in large ceramic bowls. Her house was filled with ceramics. Ellis didn’t have a taste for the tomato gazpacho, too cold and slimy, but he enjoyed the sweet melon and cucumber one. The food at Great Aunt Bunny’s house hurt his stomach.
The Outing
Great Aunt Bunny didn’t know what boys liked to do, much less a boy like Ellis. She had lived in Albuquerque as a single woman for the past twenty years. She walked slightly careened to the right. Bunny decided to drive Ellis to Meow Wolf, the experiential art museum in Santa Fe. They listened to the soundtrack to the opera Carmen in the car.
Meow Wolf was terrible. Bunny and Ellis almost shit themselves with nausea and overwhelm. Ellis started hyperventilating in the Rainbow Room, and this quickly turned into tears. Bunny took Ellis and held him, tenderly and awkwardly. They each recognized something in each other and felt safe being easily upset together. On the drive home, Ellis played The Postal Service to share with Bunny something he loved.
The Questioning
Ellis’ mother almost forgot why her days were so uneventful. She was thrilled to have three weeks to herself. She slept in and ordered acai bowls on Uber Eats every day and took long, drunk baths every night. One night, as she was dozing off in the tub, she began hallucinating. She felt her heartbeat in her uterus, something that reminded her of pregnancy. She almost missed Ellis, the one she grew inside of her, the one who reminded her so much of her younger self she had to send him away.
Ellis Schwartz Falls in Love
On the second to last day of the trip, Great Aunt Bunny hosted lunch for her neighbors. The most beautiful woman Ellis had ever seen arrived. She was extremely tall and clad in all black. She had a thick unibrow, a hooked nose and slicked, red hair. Ellis, convinced she was a hallucination, couldn’t help but stare openly. Oh Evelyn, Bunny said upon noticing Ellis’ transfixion, this is my grand nephew Ellis. The woman looked at Ellis and stuck her hand out to him. A pleasure, Ellis. What brings you to Albuquerque? Ellis was speechless. He was touching the magical woman, shaking her magical hand. What brought him to Albuquerque? In a flash of hormonal honesty, all Ellis could say was, My mother is sick of me. Bunny burst out in an embarrassed laughter, but Evelyn maintained intense eye contact with Ellis. Everybody feels deliciously nostalgic for their youth Evelyn said, but nobody wants to really face the truth of what being fourteen is. I hope the desert takes care of you. As Evelyn walked away toward the buffet table and filled her plate with fruit and mozzarella, Ellis felt like he could have cried and came at once. He decided life was worth living.